How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
