Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
