The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
