Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
