He kissed a someone with a penis
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i think we sleep fucked last night...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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