just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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