I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
it's like iHOP with fire
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
