Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
