Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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