i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
