I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
FUCK WHALES
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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