Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
