I need to stop coming to work sober
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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