This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
