I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
