Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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