Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
