Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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