The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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