every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
