thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Soap is not a condiment
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
