You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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