I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
