I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
