I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
