God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
