I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
