I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
