Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Drunk is not a location!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
