Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
