I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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