we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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