I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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