dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
