Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
