sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
