Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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