His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You should frame my arrest warrant.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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