Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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