I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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