the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I wear drunk well.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
