I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
