Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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