If that was your dad, he is hot
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
