you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
