singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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