Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i out mim tonsoeep
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