I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i love accidental penises.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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