I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
