Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
that may or may not have been my penis.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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