I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
