she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
