Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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